Reply to Fostering a child with complex medical needs

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m the bio mom to one kid with profound intellectual disability and then my other kid had brain cancer so I feel like I have some relatable experience. You sound ideally placed for this given the self employment and flexible job. In my case, I had plenty of flexibility and my husband was self employed and had flexibility as well.

I think there are three other big factors here. One is money. To not have glass children, you kind of have to have the means to outsource some care for the needy child so that the other kids still get to do all the typical things and don’t feel the childcare burden themselves. We have been outsourcing a whole lot of care for 16 years. It has been ungodly amounts of money. You also need to figure out what respite you can get from Medicaid and how long the waitlists are in your state. My daughter will turn 18 before she gets Medicaid.

Second is the strength of your marriage. Were you both very active partners in caring for your child under the age of 1? If not, then a medically needy child may kill your marriage. Of course, the more diaper changes we have been able to outsource over the years, the less we can be pissed off about who has done the most this week.

Third is the strength and flexibility of the kid you have. My youngest daughter seems relatively unphased by her sister with profound ID. But adopting this child in may be much more difficult for your biological child as they see the intense time you now spend on this other child. [/quote]

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