Reply to Noah Lyles wedding dress video -- who can relate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m surprised there was so much backlash about this. Maybe I’m a poor read of body language but he just seemed stressed and anxious being the center of attention.

My DH dreaded the wedding because he’s just so shy (he didn’t want to elope because he’s also close with his whole family, just hated being in the hot seat.) DH’s way of dealing with it was to also minimize the emotional, romantic side of the day, and sort of act ‘cold’ and detached.

That doesn’t seem to match the energy of a world class athlete who performs his sport on a global stage though. I’d love to see footage of them cutting the wedding cake. If he smashed icing on her, then, yeah. It’s case closed - he’s a red flag waving jerk, to say the least. [/quote]

But think how he likely uses stress and anxiety to his benefit when he competes. He probably lacks the skills for graciousness because he's so used to taking anxiety and channeling it into competition and aggression. So it actually makes sense to me that an Olympic athlete would be like this in a moment of personal stress, because you have to be so driven and competitive to get to that level.

I think the bigger test would be what he is like when they are alone together, when they are cleaning up the kitchen after dinner or on vacation or in other quiet moments. That doesn't mean he shouldn't be accountable for how he behaves in a moment like this -- he should be looking at the criticism he's getting here and asking him why people are reacting so negatively towards him. But I don't think it automatically means he's a terrible partner. It may me that this is a problem in how he handles big moments as a couple, and he need to find a new set of skills to figure that out.

I am a happily married person who kind of hated my wedding and while I wasn't mean to my fiancé that day, I don't know that I would want my entire personality evaluated by my behavior on a day where I was navigating a lot of stress, family issues, and discomfort with certain kinds of attention.[/quote]

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