Reply to I don’t talk to my girlfriends about my feelings when I’m upset with them and I’m not sure that’s healthy.

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Reply to "I don’t talk to my girlfriends about my feelings when I’m upset with them and I’m not sure that’s healthy. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thoughts?

I’m more of the slow fade type and looking back, I’ve definitely lost several friendships over the years and sometimes I regret it. No big fights for the most part, but some tension here and there that maybe could have been worked out with communication.

The last number of years I’ve moved to a model of just ignoring or glossing over issues with friends. Anything but direct conflict.

I have a lot of friends but sometimes I think I don’t feel as close as I should, maybe because I don’t fully express myself.

Thoughts? Is this dumb? [/quote]
I am trying to change all that in myself. I attempted to open up to someone who considers me like a sister. It didn't go well for me. Turns out, she prefers I gloss over things so she can get back to venting to me. I'm doing the distancing/slow fade with her. I've tried to be more open with friends who are a step above acquaintances. What I've discovered is that those people can listen without trying to deflect, dismiss or minimize my feelings. In turn, they've opened up to me. I always felt my closest relationships were superficial and one sided. I'm learning about balance and reciprocity. Recognizing my friendships weren't working for me was the first step in changing. [/quote]

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