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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think its important if you have an only child. I also have an only, shes 13 now and I think its important over the years that they learn that not everything revolves around them and we need to take other peoples needs into consideration as far as taking turns, choosing games to play etc.[/quote]

I'm also a parent of an only but I did not feel I had to participate in the sorts of social planning OP is talking about in order to give that to my kid.

OP is talking about a specific kind of social engineering some parents engage in where they try to match their kids up with other kids from the neighborhood or school, and create friendships. There is lots of that around us, too, and I don't participate because I don't want MY friendships to revolve around my kid's social life. If she asks for a playdate with a classmate or neighborhood friend, I'll reach out to the parents. I do make an effort to get to know names and collect numbers for that purpose, but I'm not engineering family friendships based on this.

Instead, we just do a lot of socializing with our actual friends (most of whom we knew pre-kids) and their kids, and we just expect the kids to play together and get along. That's much more similar to a sibling relationship anyway. My kid winds up hanging out with kids who are older and younger, have different interests, etc. A lot of my friends' kids are also onlies so it works out well. Some of these have blossomed into real friendships for my DD, which is cool because, for instance, she has some real friends who are 2-3 years older and younger than she is, which means she has friends she can talk to about school and friendship who have been through it more recently, and she also gets to be the "big sis" sometimes for her younger friends. She also has several friends who are boys, which almost never happens at school for some reason -- the kids self-segregate starting in 2nd or 3rd grade.

I don't do the joint family outings or family vacations like OP is talking about. At least not with families we didn't already know pre-kids. I do find it exhausting and just not worth it.[/quote]

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