Reply to How to say no to personality disordered person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't tell someone like that "no" without angering them, but before we discuss that more..

Who has POA? Can you outsource it all and let that person deal with your sibling? I have a sibling with a personality disorder who is litigious and angry and has revenge fantasies every time she feels slighted by anyone, so that is what I did.

You cannot prevent the rage, all you can do is manage things. You remain calm, keep boundaries and detach, then remove yourself. I remind myself to have radical acceptance but also figure out what I can manage-my interactions. I limit interactions and let hired professionals do it all.

I don't know about your case, but in mine, my parents were complicit. they were alerted to siblings mental health issues by teachers, friends, relatives and me over the years and every single time they shot the messenger, rather than getting help. I know help is a long arduous process of therapy and medication, but the times this sibling hit rock bottom and got therapy and medication-so much more rational and able to manage anger, but never sticks with it.[/quote]

I can tell you understand since you have a similar sibling.

Yes, I have the POA. I assume sibling will try to sue me for something. However, I keep very good records.

There is a lot I have outsourced, but sometimes there are decisions that can’t be outsourced.

My parents were also complicit. They never got help for sibling. My dad’s mother could not stand my sibling because of the self-centeredness.

One of my parents was also disordered and loved to keep the siblings divided as a way to keep themselves, the parent, in the center.

They are both untreated people and have ruined enough of my years.

Hope you can find peace. I am close after a long road.

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