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[quote=Anonymous]My widowed 80yo mother-in-law generally spends one weekend afternoon at my sister-in-law's home, which is much closer to her than our home (we're an hour away). Not long after FIL died, SIL asked me and DH to do more to help keep MIL occupied. She indicated that she didn't love having MIL come over every single weekend and just sit on her couch and watch TV with her. Since then, we have tried to meet up with MIL more and also took her with us on vacation this past winter.

We just got a text from SIL letting us know that she would be away this weekend and asking us to please make plans with MIL "otherwise she will have nothing to do." MIL lives in a nice 55+ community with a clubhouse and activities. She drives during the day, and she does have a few friends in the development. She spends two days a week with her best friend at a local casino, her primary form of entertainment.

We happen to be free tomorrow and will ask MIL to meet for lunch, but the bigger issue is why SIL feels she--and, in her absence, we--need to be responsible for MIL's weekend social life, especially last minute. MIL has a car and a phone of her own. DH and I have encouraged MIL to get more involved in activities so she's busier, but she said she's okay being bored and just watching TV.

I asked DH to please call his sister and try to navigate this dynamic, and he said he would, but I have my doubts that this will change. I don't know if the issue is that SIL cannot say no to MIL and so MIL doesn't make alternative weekend plans or if MIL is genuinely lonely and unable/unwilling to reach out to people. Should I stay out of this one completely and let DH handle?

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