Reply to Maintaining mom friendship when one mom wants kids to be friends but other mom doesn’t want to force it

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a good friend “Ann” whose son “Andy” is in the same kinder class as my DS.  They used to play together a little last year, but not anymore.  Andy doesn’t really have friends, according to Ann, who is anxious about this.

She and I have a friendship outside of our kids, but I know she would like to get our boys together so they become better friends.  I’m totally okay with getting together with kids who aren’t really my kids’ friends, so the moms can hang out, but *only if they’re actually going to socialize at least some of the time*, which Andy and DS don’t.  So we don’t have play dates just with their family, but I invite them to larger group play dates and let Ann know when I sign DS up for a class, but on the margin, I coordinate with DS’s friends’ parents before I do her.

I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong, but I can see how she might feel a little hurt, especially since she’s a little sensitive and I’ve seen her take criticism of her kid personally.  I would like to stay good friends with her - she’s one of the few moms I see staying friends with past the school years - but I can see the way things are going, we could drift apart.  Has anyone been in this situation and managed to keep their mom friendship on a good footing despite the moms not being on the same page as to their kids’ friendship?[/quote]

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