Reply to I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough.

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Reply to "I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough."

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been in this exact situation before and it is awkward and doesn't feel good. But as other PPs have noted, you need to see this as the result of kind of random social dynamics (not knowing the host at all, it being a surprise party, the fact that you happened to see the photos on social media) and not a slight towards you at all. It's just a weird situation but not a put down.

I think it's too late for this time, but next time if this happens, I would casually invite this friend out for a drink to celebrate her birthday. Like not even mention the party, just say "oh I saw on Facebook it was your birthday last week -- can I take you out for a drink to celebrate? I'd love to catch up kids free." Or something like that. This serves the purpose of normalizing things so she doesn't think you're offended by not being invited to the party, and also gives you a chance to celebrate together which can help deepen a friendship.

Also, if it turn out this friend is more of an acquaintance, that's okay too. For all you know, the person who hosted that party is also more of an acquaintance. Middle age friendships ARE weird and not always as straightforward as you think.

If you are feeling low, reach out to an existing friend or someone else you are close to (sibling, spouse, whoever) and get some one on one time. Stuff like this can just feel like a little ego blow and you need to build yourself back up. If that's not enough, consider taking a new class or changing your schedule in some way to interact with new people. Just something to break you out of ruminating over this. It's not worth it![/quote]

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