Reply to Struggling with the limbo of DH’s sort-of estrangement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd have a conversation about how you are done and will also be protecting your children moving forward by not participating in this relationship.  You can name a few things you'd like to see happen before you'd consider reconciling.  Then ask him how he feels about that.

After that, move on.  If your DH starts talking to them, fine.  That doesn't involve you and is his choice.  You can still hold your boundary that you will not be in a relationship with them any more.

I think you are feeling anxious because you are done with them and yet you are letting your DH decide if that's true or not.  Make your own choice, communicate it with your DH, and move on.  Let him handle his own boundaries and you handle yours.[/quote]
OP here. I think you’re spot on. Thanks for your reply.

I wish I had just come out with it initially. I didn’t mention anything at the time because he was already overwhelmed with the disagreement, and I didn’t want to make things worse. But now it’s like, if/when the time comes, it won’t be an easy conversation to have then, either. I wish I had just gotten it over with then. It feels like a weight on my shoulders. How do you even begin to tell your spouse that you’re done with his family and won’t allow your children to be subjected to their behavior, either? I guess there’s never a good time. [/quote]

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