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[quote=Anonymous]I remember when I was that age. And I remember my dad snooping and being sneaky. He went further than you- he came to my school and went through my locker, he searched my room, he tape recorded all my phone calls- to everyone. I had no privacy. Yes, I was still a minor and yes, I lived in his house, but everyone is entitled to some privacy. I'm sure you're thinking I must have done something to have him be this non trusting of me. But I didn't. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17- didn't have sex until I was 18 (and living on my own), never tried drugs, didn't have my first drink until I was 20, I was an A and B student. I was editor of my yearbook, an editor for my school newspaper, swam for a community swim team, was involved in peer teaching. But for a long time I couldn't figure out how he would tell me parts of conversations I had had with my friends, my mom, and my siblings (my parents are divorced). Until I was 16 and saw a tape labeled Amanda Phone on top of his dresser when I went to go get something off of there. So the next time I was home alone- I listened to it and the others I found in his drawer (yes I went snooping myself then). He listened to everything- conversations I had had with everyone.

I was mortified to find out he had listened to me talking about crushes on boys, talking about getting my period, cramps, when I started shaving, all personal things that he had no business knowing about. Then I set up a way to find out if he was reading my journal and going through my closet- and surprise, surprise- he was. And a teacher I was close to told me about him going through my locker. So I started hiding things from him. My Mom, friends, and I developed a code to use on the phone so he wouldn't know what I was talking about. I hid my boyfriend from him for months, I stopped bringing my friends around, I lied about where I was going, what I was doing. I came up with any excuse to be anywhere but at home. All to gain some of my privacy back. And to keep him out of my life. I wanted to be in my life as little as possible.

And then I moved out before senior year was over (although there were other circumstances involved there) and haven't looked back since. I haven't spoken to him in years. I felt like he lied to me and I couldn't trust him. And I couldn't stand being around him. He's never met my daughter and has no idea where I live or my phone number or anything.

I didn't have an open relationship with my mom either but my best friend and I both had one with her mom. She talked to us and really listened to us and made herself a part of our lives. She asked us pointed questions about things and was very honest with us. And you know what? I think she was a big reason we didn't do the things other kids our age around us were doing. We weren't a part of the kids stealing and drinking and doing drugs and acting out. She never once snooped on us. She didn't have too.[/quote]

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