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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for all the feedback. I do think emotional detachment will be my best course of action. There is nothing else I can do.

I don't think they have any interest in going to an assisted living facility or even selling their house, which is too big for them at this point and comes with stuff elderly people who are not in great shape can handle like basement infrastructure and appliances-- washer/dryer, boiler, and clutter, clutter, clutter. When asked about moving-- there are lovely garden apartments 10 minutes from their neighborhood and they could purchase one all cash once they sell their house-- my mother has said the same thing for years: I don't know where we'd go, and shuts down the conversation.

My dad has convinced himself, even after heart surgery, that he'll always be in fine shape to manage the house without any help--- I do believe that is, I should emphasize, paid help from third parties who are not family members. Based on what he says and little references to this neighbor's daughter or that one, he expects his kids to step up and pretty much keep him and my mother in that house for eternity. We're supposed to turn into the good daughters who are mother and father's free home health aides and housekeepers washing their windows, shopping, mowing the lawn, eventually taking blood pressure and cutting nails, doing the laundry in the basement so they don't have to consider moving to an apartment complex with an easy to access laundry room that doesn't require going up and down a flight of stairs.

They refuse to entertain the idea of selling and moving to that smaller, manageable apartment that actually could set them up for long-term independence, but they're stubborn and think they can magically will things to go their way. Again-- health issues and the reality of them are not taken into account.

Couple all that with nasty behavior and vicious comments propelled by FOX, yeah, this is going to be an ugly next few years.[/quote]

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