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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. They were always this way but it’s now amplified. I can’t even tell my husband the stuff that they say because it’s embarrassing because his parents are nothing like this. It would he easier if it were dementia—knowing these sector “normal” personalities is hard. No one in their right mind would  want to be around this behavior. In a way it’s very sad to see this is how they’re going to spend their last years because so awful. [/quote]

No, you need to say it, because if it stresses you out that much, he needs to understand where you're coming from. My husband is a doctor. He treats the elders in our family like patients: he listens to their complaints, treats their physical ailments, but emotionally detaches from their problematic personalities. His late father had bipolar disorder - my husband has had lots of practice throughout his life.

My husband's mother has always been both high IQ and high EQ. At 90, despite advanced Parkinson's, she's still gracious and caring. My parents are much younger but they don't react as well to their serious illnesses as my MIL, and weren't that mature and thoughtful to begin with. My husband has seen this, and I lean on him for support, because they can be a LOT.

So this is an exercise in emotional detachment.[/quote]

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