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[quote=Anonymous]When I started dating my husband I discovered that he was an excellent pet owner (we both had a dog), he was a caring friend (he introduced me to them pretty early on and I got to see their relationships), he was a hard worker (we were both in pretty busy times in our careers), he was a very thoughtful person (he wanted to do nice things for me and he cared how I felt), and that he was responsible (his apartment was very clean and neat, his car was well-taken care of, etc.).

He was also very funny (which is important to me but may not be something you care about), very smart (I am as well so this has been important to both of us), very handsome (and still is, 20 years later), and very tall (which is obviously superficial but I'm tall for a woman and love that he's bigger than me). These things aren't as important big picture, but they're things I appreciate.

One thing I'll say that was a red flag was his father. The first time I met him (a few months into dating) I realized he was a verbally abusive ahole. I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) that (1) I would never tolerate his father speaking to me the way he spoke to his mom and I would absolutely not be quiet about it and (2) if my husband ever spoke to me or anyone else the way his dad father did I would be gone. He said he woke up every day trying to be a different man than his father, he was in therapy and actively working on it, and he had never acted like and never would. 20 years later, he has stuck to that. He is the sweetest, most loving, affectionate, thoughtful husband and father to our girls. The best thing I ever did in my life was marrying him. [/quote]

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