Reply to My 77-year-old mother is lying and I don’t know what to make of it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In example 1, she probably felt very physically sick or depressed/anxious and couldn't leave the house, but felt like you'd be upset not being able to watch the kids, so she said she was in the hospital.

In example 2, she probably is uncomfortable driving due to vision problems or anxiety and made up the excuse about the car.

It seems like she is avoidant and doesn't want to tell you she doesn't feel capable to handle driving and childcare anymore.[/quote]
+1
Probably something in this neighborhood. It sounds like “white lies” have been a coping strategy for her for a long time. Now the problems are getting bigger and the lies are growing with them. She doesn’t know how to communicate and then resorts to a lie at the last minute.

Are you involved in her medical care?

I definitely think the days of relying on her help for kid stuff are over. It’s good that you have a supportive network, but have you ever considered a roommate? Your kids are young enough that you will need significant help for a long time to come. Your friends and neighbors will surely be part of that, but as time goes by, prepare for them to be less available. [/quote]

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