Reply to How to stop being the nag?

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[quote=Anonymous]The dynamic between my freshman son and me is all stress -- meanwhile his dad is mr. fun/coach/sports guy. I am the one who fields academic stuff, paperwork, deals with his tutor, camp or sports sign-ups, reminds him when he has 10 missing assignments in powerschool, manages his IEP (he is dyslexic/adhd). Today he forgot he was staying for extra help for math and came in bewildered on his bike. His teacher emailed me asking where he was. I lost it. I just got so frustrated and screamed at him while driving him back to school.
I try to do less and let him fail on his own but it also does result in worse grades, missed deadlines, etc. My husband says he's "happy to help" but that will take delegation and direction - he's not the default logistician and point of contact. My son then told me he associates our whole relationship with stress, that I need to care less, and that his dad makes everyhting fun and I just began crying and crying because I do so much - work hard - try to give my kids a good life nad I feel like I failed at my one job. I am 47, perimenopausal, work full time, have an elderly mother in need of assisted living, I have another kid, I am just DONE and feel taken for granted.[/quote]

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