Reply to 3rd grade daughter dropped by former bestie

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[quote=Anonymous]I would assume you don't have all the information.

It is normal for kids' relationships to be in flux at this stage.

I would also caution against "best friends" or emphasizing the idea of best friends to kids this age. In fact I would actually wonder if the emphasis on being BFFs might be part of the problem here. That's why I think you likely don't know everything.

Encouraging a variety of friendships in various parts of life is the healthiest way for kids this age to learn how friendships work. I think it's especially unhealthy that the girls have been pushed to do all the same activities. It means they never get a break from each other. It may prevent them both from making other friends, which they should both be doing. And it has nothing to do with coolness. It has to do with expanding horizons and getting to know different kinds of people.

It sounds to me like the other family is seeking to create a bit of space. Maybe the other parents know more about some aspects of the "best friendship" that might not be so healthy for the girls. It would be better if they'd just say that, but who knows what your dynamic is -- have they tried to gently turn down some of your arrangements in the past? Did you respect that or push past it? If the latter, they may not have felt like opening up a dialogue about the girls because they may not have felt you would be receptive.

Anyway, you are correct that you are making a much bigger deal out of this than it is. Support your daughter in her feelings, which are valid, and then encourage her to be open to other friendships. These girls may also find their way back to each other. But let *them* choose it. Not you. Stop micromanaging your daughter's social life.[/quote]

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