Reply to We may end up estranged from my parents

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother was psychologically and verbally abusive in my childhood, to both my father and me. I tried to have a heart-to-heart with her in my 20s, got criticized for being too sensitive and for not being able to take a joke. I cut her off for 6 months in my 30s, when she started on my daughter. I renewed contact because I missed my father, who came as a packaged deal with my mother.

However ever since that time of no-contact, she's been a lot more circumspect. Deep down, she loves me and did not imagine I would simply cut ties. The only thing keeping her in line is that fear. I am now helping them a little in their old age.

You are free to not help them out, OP, but it won't be very fair on the other sibling. I'm an only child, so my decisions don't impact any sibling. I think it would fair to tell your parents that you're done with their abusive behavior and you won't be seeing them or contacting them any time soon, and to warn your sibling that you've had it with them and do not want to be on the front lines of eldercare. But when the time actually comes, and your sibling is suffering while trying to support their needs... I hope you can support your sibling.

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