Reply to How do I get over guilt and second-guessing myself about moving mom to memory care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom went from IL to AL and now memory care.  She has never really fully adjusted.  Her rage/outbursts is now controlled by meds but she seems “heavily medicated”. It was either medicate her or hire a private duty nurse at $35/hr x 60 hours a week on top of the cost of memory care.  [/quote]

You would have still needed to medicate her with the private duty nurse, but she would not have to comply. It would have been a revolving door of caregivers. You did the right thing. Sadly some elders need to seem "heavily medicated" to refrain from aggression. When my mom ends up the hospital, they have to use chemical restraints because no doctor will work with her and the staff avoid her.[/quote]
You should research her facility. Most dementia patients do not need to live that way. Dementia care has come a long way but some facilities are still treating patients as they did decades ago

https://www.alz.org/getmedia/51c0902c-d7ae-4ddb-8374-129c137bed06/dementia-care-the-fundamentals-of-person-centered-care-for-individuals-with-dementia-2018.pdf

https://www.alz.org/getmedia/eb083607-0991-4565-8919-1ac0c8a6b899/dementia-care-evidence-based-nonpharmacological-practices-to-address-behavioral-and-psychological-symptoms-of-dementia-2018.pdf

More here:
https://www.alz.org/professionals/professional-providers/dementia_care_practice_recommendations#Recommendations[/quote]

In theory, it has come a long way.  In practice, not so much.  My mother has now been at 3 memory care facilities.  Each are staffed by foreign born and educated nursing staff and nursing aides and med techs who have HS diplomas (if lucky).   These folks are not reading medical research or implementing the “latest and greatest.”  They are just trying to make it through the day and go home.  My mother has both aggression and gets out of bed in the middle of the night and falls each time.  Medication is the only viable means for controlling both.  [/quote]
I encourage everyone to search out facilities that are implementing Personal Centered Care. Patients, Staff, and families are all much happier and more satisfied. This isn’t brand new information by any stretch and many facilities have been implementing it for years. Don’t settle for barbaric treatment of your LO with dementia.[/quote]

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