Reply to Is it okay to divest from your unmotivated kid?

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Is it okay to divest from your unmotivated kid?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]
My kid with severe ADHD and learning disabilities had an enormous problem with distractions. I literally had to sit with him at the dinner table and look over his laptop every 5 minutes to tell him to work instead of looking at YouTube. YouTube was not disabled because some of his classes used it. He was as medicated as he could be for his ADHD. Now he's at a very expensive university, because even though he got into our state flagship, his does not exist at the state U and his private uni specializes in that major, so we bit the bullet and let him attend.

You are correct that you need to strategize and prioritize, but in a way that still maximizes his chances of admission and success. Not all activities will count in the apps, for example. Colleges want to see dedication and commitment, but they might not be sensitive to the nitty-gritty of which youth orchestra is better than another, or which sports club is more elite. So it's not worth your while commuting further or paying more for the "better" one. What matters is that he needs to keep doing the same sport and the same instrument for years, to show depth instead of flitting about like a butterfly. He only needs to practice so as not to get cut from his music thing. Same for practice - the minimum to stay on the team. Same for language at school - it's a plus to keep studying the same language until graduation. Do not stop doing any of that!

A summer job is great on a college app, especially if he can write about it a college essay. It will show real world experience and is arguably better than a summer camp experience, unless the summer camp is going to further explore a field he wants to major in and thus show his passion (but not if it's a music camp and he already does music during the year and has no plans to go to a conservatory, for instance).

There is no need to take him to restaurants or give him extra stuff, unless he goes above and beyond and they act as incentive.

Of course you should stick to affordable college options, OP. That isn't a punitive action, it's reasonable. I don't know if we made the right decision for our kid. If yours wants to major in something that your state flagship does pretty well, by all means, push him to go there.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics