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[quote=Anonymous]Didn't think we'd have to deal with this for at least a couple of years, but a friend of DD's got ahold of vodka and a group got wasted. I feel like an idiot for not even realizing she was drunk when I picked her up the other night. I thought she'd just had fun with new friends. But - the friend who supplied the vodka posted photos on social media (seriously - how do kids not know better?); another parent found out and shared details with me.

When confronted with what I knew and had seen, DD still chose to lie to straight to my face -- and she was *good* at it. This is despite us having the longstanding rule that the truth will never get you 'in trouble' but lying will have consequences. We've always held true to that and to the best of my knowledge, this is the first time she's had alcohol. Obviously I don't know if that's true. I understand the knee-jerk reaction of fear and denial in this situation, but I gave her a few chances to come clean and she still chose lies.

Phone is gone. Computer is gone. She is grounded. I will be driving her to and from school and sports for the foreseeable future. But I'm feeling at a loss here. I don't think these are solutions; they're just to give me comfort that I know what she's doing and where she is and that she's safe.

We have alcoholism and substance abuse in our family. I struggled greatly with drugs as a teen (I was a young runaway and wound up in rehab; very messy) and can't drink alcohol. DD is in therapy for anxiety and is on meds for ADHD, which is a really bad combo with alcohol. Beyond that, she's straight A student and a generally very nice kid.

So for those who have BTDT: 
- How do you address teen drinking? 
- How do I not let my icky past influence how I see her in the present? (I've been through a lot of therapy, but having this play in IRL is much different than in a therapist's office.)
- How do we untangle this and get back to a place of trust? I think she's as confused as I am right now.[/quote]

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