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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter had brain cancer as a toddler and the long term effects on her processing speed and likely having inattentive ADHD have been tough. Her working memory is also crappy.

I think you need to take a step back and not think one person can help. First, I think you need to get a handle on the anxiety. This may involve meds — don’t be scared to try them.

Second, do you have a full neuropsych? At our children’s hospital, my kid could basically get a neuropsych every year as a former brain surgery patient. Do you have the same? If so, get the full assessment and ask them to put in all the accommodations you think you need (assuming they agree with them). This will be your roadmap for your IEP/504 if you don’t already have one. This should also tell you their IQ, and you need to have realistic expectations based on IQ. I say this as a person whose other kid has profound ID. [b]Brain tumor kid has an IQ of 110 and sees herself as someone who should get straight As. [/b]She has managed to do this by hook or by crook, which means she does a lot of “advocating” with tea herself for extra credit, etc.

Third, think through which subjects you can help your kid in versus what you need to outsource. I have outsourced math since late elementary. Mathnasium worked for elementary. We have moved to a tutor from Fusion for middle school school. She actually likes for me to help her a lot, which is exhausting. I have a new part time job as a middle school teacher essentially. We agree on what works for her. She comes home and we watch 15 minutes of TV. I then walk through every class (in order) and she tells me what she needs to do for homework and I ask EVERY DAY about upcoming tests and quizzes. I follow the parent portal to help her keep track. Straight up memorizing is really hard. I’ve made up songs, dances and cheers to help her because the way she remembers things if with TONS of context. So she can basically tell you in detail about a book she read, but can’t sum it up to save her life. This is all very kid specific. If your kid hates working with a parent, the you have to figure out what tutors you need. And maybe a coach also, but I find we do better with me coaching.
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NP - Why shouldn't "brain tumor kid" think that is in reach? I know a 110 is not tippy-top IQ but still very well above average. Seems like at many schools these days "straight As" = 50% of the class, and DC falls well within that band.[/quote]

I mean, sure. I’m proud of her for this. But her processing speed is 5th percentile. Her working memory is terrible.

She has made it through middle school by hook or by crook. But I am skeptical she can hack this through the AP/IB world she envisions herself in. If she didn’t have me to spend intense amounts of time with her on this stuff and spend a crap ton of money on tutors, she would likely make some As, some Bs and an occasional C. This kid thinks she can go to Yale. I won’t crush her spirit, but I don’t think this is happening. I will however continue my part time job learning the curriculum along with her — which is a huge pain.

My larger point to the mom of another brain tumor kid is to be realistic about where you are going to land given the full
Neuropsych details. It can give you a lot of information to help you parse things out. My other kid has an IQ of maybe 35 so I’ve had to adjust my expectations there as well.[/quote]

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