Reply to Would you tell dd to call less?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Would you tell dd to call less?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not tell her to call less.  I might though be busy now and then.  Sorry we missed you we decided to go see a movie, get ice cream, walk with the neighbors.go to the library..whatever.[/quote]

I think this is a good idea. It signals that you still care but also gently sets limits AND models some of the exact things she could be trying as well (getting ice cream, taking a walk with someone, etc.)

I had debilitating adjustment issues and social anxiety in college and what I desperately wish someone had told me is that it simply takes *time and repetition* to build familiarity and connection. Try the club or music group for a full year, etc (not just a few weeks or whatever) even if it’s uncomfortable at first.

I ended up hastily transferring schools bc I had trouble making friends at my first one; while the transfer did help me in some ways, the anxiety still followed me and it took deeper work (into adulthood) to unpack and develop some helpful coping mechanisms.[/quote]

When we try to do that which we have to sometimes, she then still calls for a long time and tbh she sounds annoyed we could not talk now. We have told her to keep going to those activities and that it takes time. We encourage her constantly, gave her ideas of things she could do...She simply refuses to give it a chance or will go again if we insist but then declare the people are boring/pompous/this guy hit on her and she feels bad bc she doesn't like him. There is always something. And then it feels like we are holding her hand so much and it still does not work which feels like it is potentially worse for her because it's reinforcing the idea she is not doing this on her own.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics