Reply to Question for adoption moms whose children sought out their birth mom

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[quote=Anonymous]Just know that in the beginning, it can be overly happy and exciting for the child. Their birth mom is perfect! and so wonderful! and maybe would have been a better parent! All of which can be really hard for an adoptive parent to process, even when they're supportive and loving. The birth mom now is a completely different person than she was 20-30 years ago. Then things settle down and they realize that no one is perfect and everyone is human.

In our case, the adopted child had a whole story about how her adoptive mom was forced to give her up due to society, but if not, she would have been a cool teen mom like in the movies. I think her enthusiasm was even hard for the birth mom to process. Birth mom had to talk her down and let her know that no, she wanted to give her up for adoption because she was 16 and knew she wouldn't have been the kind of mom a different family could provide. It was a closed adoption and the birth mom hadn't wanted contacted when the girl turned 18.

The whole thing landed all 3 women back in therapy- birth mom, adoptive mom and child. Just a really hard time and a lot of emotions. [/quote]

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