Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Many times, taking care of the elderly is taking care of a toddler that then devolves into an infant, devolving into a newborn. They are going in the opposite direction. When the child is your offspring, you do the work (not without stress) because you have brought this child into the world and you want to do whatever is needed to do. And again, it is stressful.

With a parent, frequently there is past issues that add to the stress of caregiving. There is physical distance that adds stress. Hardship. Frustration. Sheer exhaustion.

Your brother is dealing with all of that and you aren't. You get to live unencumbered by the day-to-day job of all the elderly need and can't do for themselves. Money helps. But even then the toll is huge. And most people don't have the money to pay for care.

OP, you say you will help. Tell me what to do. It doesn't work that way. If you're on the ground, you see that it is a hundred little things that if you're not aware of and keeping track of, it's impossible to explain. Out of nowhere, a UTI, as an example. Getting an appointment. Getting them to the doctor. Picking up the Rx. Making sure they are taking the meds and drinking plenty of water. That they can get to the restroom. All the while, they have to eat and clean up and bathe and clean the house . . .

And as they age, it is always something. And they start coming on faster and with more frequency and more serious.

With out mom, it can be a full-time job. And she has no money for nursing care, and we care too much about her to force her into a Medicaid bed. And frankly, she isn't to that point yet. But she is headed to needing more and more care.

I would simply advise you to think about the child rearing from toddler going backwards, without the dedication you feel to your own child. That is what your brother is dealing with. Sitting in DC and acting defensive that people are upset with you is misplaced. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics