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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For most, a trust only if you have north of 5 million in assets. Is that what you have today? Because that amount will just keep going up. I think the sister without the mental health struggles can be executor. DH and I have each been executors. It's not that big a deal, not even going through probate. Btw, you are not saddling the sister with this responsibility. When the time comes, she can always say "no". And the court would appoint someone. Her saying no after you have passed is a detail you haven't thought of, you'll never know. Imho, no reason to be afraid of probate. There is accountability all through the process. No one is "stealing" anything unless they are doing something illegal. Most people who complain that a relative "steals" haven't familiarized themselves with the law or don't want to be bothered with asking the court for paperwork from the estate.

I would not hand-over a percentage of the estate to a hired executor. I mean you could. It wouldn't be the worst decision. Just not what I would do. Any mistake you make in calculations, the court will tell you. You'll fix any omissions. You'll learn along the way. Most reasonably educated, level headed adults can manage the duties of an executor.[/quote]

We have been the exectors to the trusts and wills of 3 parents.  A sibling was the executor for one of the parents. I shared responsibility with one sibling.

Here's  what siblings can do- delay delay delay- or decide  they can be paid whatever  they  want, not disclose  sources of assets  without  a challenge, not file , deal unethically with real estate  sales, and all manner of nonsense. We have seen it. 
I also know contemporary siblings who  are still in court struggles  years after death of parents. 
No, I want a third party. I know what  the dynamics of one of my children  and her spouse would contribute to the mess.

Some of it will be very easy in that most  of the assets will be payable upon death.  The others- a house, jewelry,  etc., are not. You are assuming it's  about  competence,  but it is not  in this case. They are both competent. [/quote]

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