Reply to Do you visit the graves of your deceased loved ones? Why or why not?

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[quote=Anonymous]Both sets of grandparents, my parents, and my older sister are deceased. When my mother died 11 years ago, I went to her grave and put down flowers the first year on her birthday, Mother's Day, and Christmas more because it seemed customary, and I didn't really know what to do; it was new.

I loved her dearly, but never felt anything at the grave, and talking to her felt pointless. I made the Christmas visit my last. My dad passed two years ago, and they are buried together, along with my sister. I don't feel any draw to visit because they aren't "there."

After my dad’s passing, I took all of their houseplants and have devoted a lot of effort to caring for them. This is how I choose to honor their memory: by nurturing something living.

I have relatives who frequently visit graves, and I've noticed that their grief seems to linger. I'm not sure if this is connected, but I can't help but wonder how others approach grave visits and what benefits they derive from them. Also, if you go, how long do you plan to continue?[/quote]

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