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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my experience (in public) teachers mainly ONLy shared positive things and were not clear  about areas where our student was having trouble.

Literally found out the next day in an email about the problems even though they only had positive things to say during the conference.

And, this was with very engaged and competent teachers.

[b]I’m not sure if the teachers are afraid of parents reaction to bad news or if they figure you already know and want to keep the meeting positive.[/quote][/b]

I will tell you exactly why teachers are presenting information in this way, at least my school:

1.  Admin, one of whom repeatedly reminds us that parents are "the paying customers", insist we follow a "compliment sandwich" structure for feedback in conferences and written reports.  There is even a slide deck with examples of both ideal and unacceptable things to say.  We have to begin by emphasizing the positives, then present negatives "not as negative, but as suggestions for improvement", and then finish with more positives.  I can see that many times, parents are not fully grasping their child's weaknesses in their entirety, and they certainly aren't presented with the full magnitude of behavior issues.  The "compliment sandwich" bamboozles parents into thinking things are better than they are, and allows them to seize upon the positives.  Parents from other cultures really seem confused by this, as in their cultures the teacher tells them the student's weaknesses and actual peformance information in a direct, no-nonsense way without the fluff or euphemism.

2.  If a parent IS unhappy with negative feedback and chooses to blame the teacher, looping admin into this crusade, the teacher will be interrogated by admin in a way that is harsh, humiliating, and often retributive.  And that teacher will then be scrutinized in a way that is not ideal if you work at a private school with no job security.

3.  Teachers who are loved by parents are the ones who are praised, prioritized for the best classes, and have the best references when they move on to other jobs, and will just have an overall more pleasant time at work.

I have been teaching for 20 years and at the start of my career, I could give more honest feedback.  I've adapted because that is what I have to do.  Parenting styles have changed, and perception of teachers and the teaching profession has changed as well, as you can see from DCUM.  See the thread with the person complaining about teachers who miss too much school: this reminds me of a colleague I had years ago who was dying of breast cancer, but kept working as long as she could.  In the early stages of her treatment, before it was obvious what was going on, parents were ruthless about her missed days (for medical appointments) and her inability to respond immediately to their emails.  I also had a colleague whose 3 year old child was killed in a sudden accident: she returned to school because she had to for financial reasons, but she was severely affected by her grief and trauma, parents KNEW her child had died, but within months of the funeral they were complaining about her reduced performance and attentiveness to them.  People are quick to attack and blame teachers.

It is what it is.

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