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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP wrote:

"When he got the acceptance, he was convinced that he got it because the interviewer felt sorry for him. He is stuck on the idea that it would be "unfair" for him to take advantage of the opportunity."

You need to explain to your kid that we are living in an environment where people leverage their trauma to get ahead. It's normalized.  That's why we have joky terms like "Oppression Olympics".

Americans believe in oversharing.  And ask questions that would be shocking in other cultures.  A lot of personal business gets put out there deliberately.

Your kid didn't do anything to leverage his trauma.  The main lesson here is for him to communicate to his reviewers how he would like this to be handled in future college application recommendations.  He could even write it on his brag sheet.  For example (making this up):  "I would appreciate it if reviewers would not mention the 2023 incident where the football captain broke my arm in the locker room during sophomore year."

What I tell my kids is that every strong candidate has unique qualities.  And people often get picked for their unique qualities.  And sometimes even just through dumb luck.  But everyone qualified's turn comes up sometime for a combination of reasons we don't fully control.  It's never an issue of 100% deserve or 100% does not deserve.  Your kid presented his candidacy and was chosen.  Now it's time to be grateful and accept, moving on from the application process to putting the best foot forward during the experience.[/quote]

OP:

Thank you for this.  It's helpful for me as I frame my conversations with him.  
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