Reply to How do you split responsibilities to take care of elders?

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[quote=Anonymous]There is no cookie cutter answer for this and it’s unlikely that anyone involved will think how things are split is “fairly” (including your parents who will likely have expectations that far exceed what is reasonable).

Each child/nuclear family will decide how much  (or how little) and how they help care your parents and in-laws.

Echo what others have said to making your help contingent on financial transparency (eg, if they are sitting on a load of cash they can hire some help and if they aren’t that gives you/them the opportunity to do some advanced planning and info gathering).

Have clear boundaries around what you can realistically handle that protects your health, your kids, and your own retirement.

When the time comes, have a real conversation with your siblings about what they are willing to do/contribute - and be prepared that what you think they should help with and what you expect are not going to be the same and vice versa. You can’t force anyone to help, but you can ask.[/quote]

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