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[quote=Anonymous]I’ve had a fair amount of success by treating my teen boys like ‘adults’ and respecting their agency (‘adults in quotes because that’s not quite it but I can’t figure out a better way to say it). So in your example, I would not lecture about grades but instead start having conversations in the car about what’s at stake in high school, asking about what path they think might be best for themselves, asking what they think they might need help with to get there and how I can help set them up for success - then listen. My kids do pretty well in school, but we still have had the conversation “is a 4 year college what you want? Is a highly competitive college? Or vocational program? Okay, this is the path that I think could get you there…” I think the key is that they feel empowered by having the choice, and that you are listening to them - but also that you’re watching, and there to remind them about what they chose and what will help them get there. Clearly there are some lines that you need to hold firm on, but things go much smoother when you’re on the same team and are acting more as a mentor than dictator.[/quote]

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