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[quote=Anonymous]I should probably wait until I hear the results of 14yo DD's school evaluation results to post this question.  How else should we be intervening for our DD?

It's been nearly 2 months since we formally requested an eval and I haven't heard a peep from the school.  I'm hearing from our DD that in the last week or so they have been pulling her out of classes for all types of evaluations - and essentially, it sounds like it all might have been a waste of everyone's time - especially DD's. They are evaluating her for disabilities and academic challenges she does not have.  I feel fairly certain that after all of this time wasted, they are going to come back to us and say she does not qualify for an IEP.

And then we are back to square one, and we will have used up any crumbs of patience and goodwill that DD may have had left on this waste of time. I do think we will now need to do a private neuropsych eval.

She is very rigid and stubborn and has decided that she wants to take all of the highest level classes in HS, even when she is struggling to keep up with her MS classes, which are standard except for Math. She refuses any extracurriculars and does not socialize, and really struggles with social interactions. She wants to continue an instrument that she never practices, because all of her free time during weeknights and weekends is either used doing homework and catching up on classwork that she was supposed to complete during school, or random trash projects like spending 6 hours straight making hundreds of tiny clay balls, or cutting out hundreds of paper figures.

She keeps staying up late to do homework.  She is increasingly more rigid with food as well.  She was always a picky eater, but seemed to overcome it, but now has become picky again, and now she never has time for breakfast, rarely finishes her lunch (which I pack daily with foods I know she will eat, because she refuses any school food), and never snacks.

And she has mostly disappeared from our home life.  She locks herself in her room all day, doesn't speak to us, except to say rude things or yell at us for making her life hell, and in the same breath, will make demands of us (to buy her things, etc).  When I say I miss her and want to spend time with her, she says "who would ever want to spend any time with YOU?"  She won't do her chores unless we relentlessly nag her about it.  The house and her room becomes a complete disaster within a day of not staying on top of her to clean up after herself, or me or DH just cleaning up her messes for her. I'd feel better if someone just told me this was normal teen stuff, and that I just need to keep having patience and keep showing up for her, despite the fact that she has been behaving so selfishly.

But a part of me is worried that we are raising an antisocial who will not be able to function as a productive member of society. [/quote]

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