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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse has always been a work addict and flakey in the house and with the kids. Nothing has helped and he lashes out if any concern or question is expressed by me or the kids.

But this last weekend was at a fever pitch rate of dumb stuff. I don’t know what to do. This is unsustainable and perhaps he’s doing this on purpose?

What the “solution”, he asks, as he tells me not to get mad or hurt, that nothing is ever his fault, that I am the bad guy who shouldn’t bring this up, nothing matters.

What’s the solution to him:
[b]never making the bed;
[/b]not turning the gas stove off, 
[b]leaving his huge shoes in the kitchen walkway,[/b] avoiding all parenting/ disciplining of the children, 
[b]not washing or stacking greasy dishes properly, [/b]
lying about collecting all hampers for laundry, 
[b]leaving food & grease & debris all over the kitchen & table,[/b] 
never reading his emails/texts from the school or coaches or doctor or kid activities, 
not putting his wife’s legal name on a flight booking, and 
never identifying needs or taking care of your house & property?

And this was only the last 48 hours! 
What the solution to this??!??

I am bogged down with the middle schoolers, spring break packing, my job, sports tryouts, summer camp & plans. And the day to day (games, parties, shopping, homework help, seasonal stuff), which he also neglects. And if he is asked to do some weekend task, or suddenly has a surge to do a chore finally, the above happens!

What’s the ”solution” for this?

And that’s not even the non-basic stuff — the planning, guidance, reliability, and emotional support everyone expects from an adult with kids.

Yes we have a nanny/housekeeper after school. [/quote]
Firstly, the bolded don’t matter. Let them go.

Second, it sounds like he’s drowning (yes, yes I’m sure you are too) which is why he lied about the laundry because he knows you see him as the enemy and not a member of the team.

Take a break. Take a 2 hour walk with him, hire a sitter if you have to, and approach him with softness. 
Good luck. [/quote]

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