Reply to Modern Love: Lindy West and polyamory

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Surprised there isn't a thread on this yet. Writer Lindy West did a Modern Love column about accepting polyamory in her marriage after initially wanting to stay monogamous. I listened to the NYT podcast on the piece, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjVmd-m1LCA (if someone with a NYT subscription wants to share the actual column, please do, I don't have a subscription and hate when people post paywalled articles for discussion).

Summary: She knew he preferred polyamory when they married but he knew she wanted monogamy. He says that he realized polyamory was a superior approach to relationships when his first two marriages resulted in divorce by age 27. He did not tell her that he was starting a relationship outside their marriage -- she found out when a third party informed her that they'd seen him kissing another woman in a bar. After she found out, she spent a year feeling worthless, devastated, and betrayed. Then somehow it is determined that her husband's GF was attracted to Lindy, and Lindy decides she's attracted back, and now they are a happy polyamorous throuple.

Anyway, I see a lot of red flags here and kind of can't believe West is announcing this to the world like "here's how I discovered polyamory was for me!" If she'd just waited another year or two, she could have written a Modern Love column about being bamboozled via shaming and gaslighting into opening her marriage, by a husband who clearly doesn't respect her, and how the experience forced her to confront her lifelong struggles with insecurity and self worth. Hey, she can still write it, I'm sure ML has already penciled it in for like 2028.

Thoughts?[/quote]

People always try to normalize their fetiches and glamorize their compromises, what's new here? [/quote]

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