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[quote=Anonymous]Choose the top most annoying behavior to you right now. Target that for improvement. I’m sure you know how to approach your child with empathy and validation. Now also explain that living with other people comes with sharing space and responsibilities. Give your child a replacement behavior to do instead of the noisemaking. You might have to try a few things until you find the stim that works for your child. Set goals and link them to rewards. As someone above mentioned, OTs can be helpful in this work.

With regard to endless chatter, borrow a few things from teachers’ toolboxes. If you know you are going to have to focus on something, like following a recipe or wanting to sit down and read a book, tell your child you will be doing exactly that in x minutes. Set a visual timer, like an hourglass or a Time Timer, to let him know it’s coming. If you can’t talk about your kid’s interest in the moment, write it down in a place where you can both see it, like a whiteboard on the fridge. Call that “the parking lot,” and let your kid know when you’ll get back to topics in the parking lot (in 30 minutes, after dinner, while driving to school, etc.). Nine times out of ten, when you come back to those topics, your child has moved on or consolidated his thoughts to the point where he can express them more succinctly. The trick with this strategy is that you have to be perceived as reliable by your child. If you fail to check back in on the parking lot topics when you say you will, they won’t trust the process.

Think about the purpose(s) of your child’s behavior. Is he looking to alleviate boredom, get energy out, get attention? Can you provide other, more desirable ways for him to do such things?

Noise-canceling headphones with low-volume instrumental music are a game changer too. They’ll help you self regulate. To the extent that your child’s behavior is attention seeking, it will also reduce the attention he perceives he gets. Your lack of response can have the effect of driving down the frequency of behavior.

This stuff isn’t always super simple to figure out on your own. But putting behavioral limits in place can help not only you but your child’s social future. Sometimes it’s worthwhile talking to a mental health practitioner or parent coach who has a background in behaviorism.[/quote]

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