Reply to Should I tell her I’m agnostic?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am, I believe, a “cultural Catholic”. I no longer practice and consider myself agnostic, but I have very fond memories of growing up Catholic. I think back fondly of attending Saturday vigil with my mother, have foundational memories and identity from Catholic school, and have fun memories from church youth group.

Much to my loudly atheist MIL’s dismay, I did have our first child baptized. I had a desire to build the same foundation and memories for my child, and for a while we did, but then I became disillusioned with the church and stopped going. I still hope to return one day, maybe.

My MIL is very judgmental, often criticizes me to our kids (“but I know your mom is *religious*” said in a condescending tone). I’ve never confronted her because at first I didn’t want to feed into it and let her know it bothered me, but also, when I stopped believing, I thought it was funny that she was still so triggered by something that wasn’t even a thing! It felt like a secret running joke. (I have never told her I’m no longer practicing and consider myself agnostic.)

But I’m sort of tired of this game. Is there a way to explain my stance to her, to let her know she can lay off without thinking she’s won somehow? [/quote]

How about just telling her that you don't believe anymore and that you don't want to talk about it -- that you want her to know, but you don't want to discuss it with her.  Then don't discuss it with her.[/quote]

More from the pp directly above.  I'm a cultural Catholic too.  There's lots I love about the church (music, smells, bells, candles, cathedrals, stained class windows) and I don't believe in god anymore at all.  My mother-in-law lives and will die an atheist (attending a quaker church, giving her body to science) and helped guide my reading to some extent when my beliefs were changing.  I have a good mother-in-law.  You do not.[/quote]

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