Reply to Husband pressuring me for a third child

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[quote=Anonymous]My youngest child just turned 1 and the oldest is 3.5. My husband and I are both 39. He works extremely long hours as a lawyer and we live in a city far away from family support for his job. I do 95% of childcare and running the household. This didn't change even when the second child came along- when my husband wasn't at work he was at his rugby club or out with friends. He has improved but still cannot be relied upon to be around to help on a consistent basis.

Having this second child has nearly broken me and I've barely made it through the first year of her life. Pregnancy was extremely hard on my body and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at 3 months postpartum. I have had no time for therapy and I tried medication but the side effects were too much for me. I've pulled through and I feel better mentally now but it was very difficult there for a while.

I also had a TFMR for my first pregnancy due to a diagnosis incompatible with life. I have concerns that another pregnancy may lead to a similar outcome seeing as genetic abnormalities become more common as the parents get older. My husband is also somewhat anti abortion so I can see that if we have another pregnancy with severe health issues he may insist on keeping it.

There's no way I want a third child but my husband wants one because he wants to have a big family and more siblings, cousins etc for the kids and their kids. Im concerned if I give him a hard no it will lead to long term resentment. But I fear having a third child will break me. Im not sure how to handle this situation- any dcum wisdom greatly appreciated![/quote]

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