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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I and DH speak 95% English at home, and Mandarin Chinese is our 2nd or 3rd languages. Our ES Kids do not really understand or speak Mandarin Chinese. They are not really interested in the culture,language or food. Both sides of grandparents do not speak Mandarin Chinese, but they speak different Chinese dialects. I have been debating if I should be the one calling it to give up learning Mandarin Chinese. There is a Chinese communities nearby, and my kids are the only non-chinese speaking kids there.

If I want to give it the last try, I have to send them to Chinese language school on weekend or split them and pay for online 1:1 tutor. They have to give up some sports or skip scout meetings because their games & scout meetings are all over the place on weekends. I think DH speaks better Mandarin Chinese than I do, but DH cannot read or write. I can read or write, but I am terrible at pinyin and I have no patience. Is it bad if our kids just become Asian Americans who cannot speak or understand Mandarin Chinese & their heritage? I have mom guilt here. [/quote]

It's natural to feel guilt. To decide what to do though, you need to put the guilt aside and see the situation clearly. What would it take for you to ensure your kids learn your heritage language? Do you want them to be fluent? What would that involve? Can you commit to it? Try to look at this objectively and see what you can do. It may be that you cannot do it, but that doesn't mean you can't expose your kids to your heritage in other ways. And you never know what might happen...my husband (who is not Chinese) fell in love with Mandarin in college, became fluent, and lived in China for years afterward. All to say, it's a difficult language to learn, but not impossible, especially if you love it. Your kids may fall in love with it themselves...you never know.[/quote]

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