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[quote=Anonymous]My wife has wanted to quit her job for several years now, and we haven't mostly because of my worries. There are some clear cut reasons to leave: its a job that wont likely ever lead to promotion, the pay is not remarkable in any way,  its rather inflexible when it comes to vacation (max you can take at one time is 1 week) and time off (theres no work 3 days a week option here) and daily hours (if you miss an hour of work you are expected to stay an hour late), her commute is a grinding hour-long each way, etc. Yet, despite these facts I still get nervous with her quitting... am I being unreasonable in my concerns? What would you do in our situation?

A little more context: My HHI is approx $170. Hers is much lower, and with what we pay the nanny, cost of gas and food at work, her net take home is perhaps only $1,000 a month. That's not small potatoes, but it isn't exactly sending us to Europe in business class either. She contributes about $8,000 a year to 401K however, which would be a real loss (but perhaps one we can live with for a bit, and obviously not one we'd feel). On the other hand, once we have no nanny in a few years, we could literally put $4,000 a month towards savings, 529 plans, vacations, you name it - and that IS a lot. Moreover, we are young, in our late 20s, this is the prime moment to be saving for retirement etc.

So my first concern: I feel like comparing the $1,000 a month loss right now is missing the bigger picture of what we might save in a 3 or 4 years when we have no nanny (or just a part time nanny), and therefore isn't a "fair" comparison. On the other hand, why work for years in a job you hate for a measly $10,000 or so a year?

That brings me to concern #2: Once she leaves the workforce, getting back in will be next to impossible. I'd be less concerned about #1 if I felt like this wasn't true, but I hear it again and again and again. SAHMs cant get jobs. Fortunately shes not in IT or legal or anything thats fast-moving - so the skills I would imagine don't become stale quite as fast, but the risk still seems quite real and tangible. Especially because she's looked for another job now and hasn't been successful - if she cant find something else now while employed, who the heck will employ her when she's been out of the workforce for a few years? I have a very small business that generates perhaps $5,000 a year in income,  mostly because I do next to nothing to promote it, its not exactly the same business as my wife is in but its close; one option I thought of was to give her a role at this business working with clients, and her resume would at least reflect some form of employment, perhaps "Co-Founder" or something of the sort. It isn't the same as a full-time gig, but at least the resume wouldn't say "Member of the PTA" or something stupid like that. With her involvement, its possible the business could grow, but its also quite likely that with kids and no nanny, she'd not be investing more than an hour a day realistically. So, I don't think this is an income replacement strategy as much as its a "fill the gap on the resume strategy".

Concern #3 - I worry the grass is greener. Being a SAHM conjures up pictures of lunch dates with your friends, not afternoons spent with crying babies and cleaning up poop stains. If she does this, and it isnt the panacea one would hope, will we have shot ourselves in the foot - lost an exceptional nanny and stuck at home with no job prospects. Anyone out there make the leap and regret it?

What would you do? What did you do? Did you regret it?

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