Reply to Is it within the realm of normal/fine for a teacher to pay for tickets for a student & her friends

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Reply to "Is it within the realm of normal/fine for a teacher to pay for tickets for a student & her friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just so I make sure I understand correctly - the complaints that the kids were making recently were about OTHER teachers, not this one? It just made you remember this incident that they had no problem with and went nowhere?

I wouldn't worry about it. This seems pretty minor, especially since it happened publicly and you know that nothing came of it.

If this happened last week, or if they had other problematic interactions with this teacher, I'd have a different answer. [/quote]

The conversation was about male teachers that they enjoyed and thought were great teachers, who then ended up doing things that made them feel very uncomfortable. About how disappointing this was to realize just how many men are like this, even ones that initially seem good, and how gross it felt to have adult men looking at them like this and saying and doing things they were saying and doing.

Which reminded me about this teacher whose behavior made ME uncomfortable (as an adult with understanding of the importance of boundaries, especially between authority and kids). I think at this age DD would be able to see that maybe some of the interactions with this teacher weren't in her best interest, but I haven't about the conversation up with her again yet, she's been busy with midterms at Uni.

I'm just wanting to gauge my own reaction a bit first. [/quote]

PP here. So she had no problem with his behavior (either that incident or at any other time with this particular teacher), it didn't even come up with her and her friends in a discussion about teachers being inappropriate, and this is the only incident you know of with this particular teacher that raised a red flag to you? None of the other things they were talking about were about this particular teacher?

If this is all it was (borderline, IMHO) and it was 2 years ago, and thus you have the benefit of hindsight to know that this doesn't escalate, there's nothing else inappropriate ever, and now she's not even in high school anymore?

I do not think this is worth reporting at this stage, and that's even more true given that you have a situation your daughter just informed you about that you KNOW crossed a line and you do want to report. Coming in with a laundry-list of stuff, some of which is borderline, two years after the fact, increases the risk that you're going to get a "yes, thanks for letting us know, ma'am" and no action or follow up. If you're reporting, focus on the case that you know was unequivocally inappropriate.

Whether you should have said something at the time, that's a tougher question, because something like this (a big unexpected gift) could be the beginning of grooming behavior, so that's more concerning. But again, with hindsight, you know that's where it stopped. [/quote]

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