Reply to What to Do with an Unsafe Dad?

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband constantly puts our kids in danger. It started out as what I thought was carelessness (or maybe me being too careful?), but over time I have become seriously concerned. I was thinking that some of the things he has done I probably would have called the police if it had happened at a daycare or with a nanny.
Tonight, he left our tantruming toddler alone in a full bath to make dinner downstairs. I was feeding the baby who was fussy and I had asked him to take care of the 2 older kids. I actually came to the bathroom thinking my toddler was giving him a hard time and that I should help but I was shocked to find him alone.
Some other things he has done:
- Spaced out at the playground and lost our toddler for a long time multiple times (my toddler now has nightmares about being left somewhere).
- Spaces out a lot in general which is an issue.
- Left the building at a museum to answer a work call. Didn’t tell the two kids (not that that would even be ok). They ended up finding each other and looking for him in distress.
- Dropped our baby while holding her improperly. I took her to the doctor and she is fine thankfully.
- Done unsafe things like letting our kids get out of the car while street parking before he does, letting them walk off on busy streets and letting them walk out the front door of our house without him (we live off a busy street).
- I walk away for a few minutes to cook dinner, leaving him with the baby and toddler and they have dumped out small Legos with plenty of tiny pieces within reach of the baby. I could go on…
I feel like every day there is a new way he creates an unsafe situation that I have to troubleshoot. A lot of the time, he treats me like I am a broken record or says ok without meaning it. Then he is super apologetic, appears to care and promises to change when something serious happens. But a week or so later it’s back to the same thing.
Most of the time I am on edge trying to arrange our lives around what I think will be less unsafe like keeping the baby and toddler with me. But this is not sustainable. Even what I consider safe, like going to the park, I have to rethink. We both work high-pressure full-time jobs and I am just at a loss.
I have even told him I would call the police the next time something happens because I have no idea what else to do.
I have seriously considered divorce over this (obviously there is more to him and us than this and I love him and don’t want to divorce him) but would that even solve the issue?
I love my kids and quite honestly nothing on earth means more to me than them. I could never forgive myself for not protecting them.
Trolls I see you coming from a mile away! But I really hope to get some real live advice from someone on here.
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