Reply to Wife Lets Son Skip School All The Time

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[quote=Anonymous]Okay so first of all, you are of course correct and this is terrible. 100% on your side. However, that and $3 will get a cuppa coffee. Not worth much.

So I would suggest the following things, roughly in order:

1) Can you try and have a lower-intensity listening-only conversation. "You know how I feel about Larlo's absences. But I want to make sure I understand where you're coming from. I promise not to argue or lecture. I just want to hear you out. What are your thoughts on this?" Then LISTEN ONLY. Ask questions - not leading ones ("how can you think this is a good idea? What are you going to do when he gets held back a year?") but actual information-gathering questions only. Because the one thing I'll note about your post is you offer nothing as to WHY she's doing this. Does she think school is a waste of time? Can she not be bothered? Is getting your son out the door a fight? Does he refuse to go? Where to do from here is going to have to start from where she is, and it seems like you don't know (or at least don't think it's relevant enough to include). Once you know why she's doing what she's doing, you'll be in a much better position to help things move to a better place.

2) Talk to your son directly. He's not five, he's in high school, which means he's perfectly capable of getting his butt out the door and going to school. What does he say? Does he know he's in danger of being held back?

3) If you get nowhere, it's time for marriage counseling. This isn't tenable.

Sorry you're dealing with this. [/quote]

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