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Reply to "Teen girls diagnosed later with autism — how is she doing now?"

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[quote=Anonymous]oof, I could write a book :)

MY DD was diagnosed at 16, after years of all the things -- anxiety, depression, SI, school refusal. Traditional therapy never really worked.  Eventually she stuck with someone, and it helped a little but something was clearly missing. Good student, good grades, had friends but it was always a source of stress. in 9th grade, new school, new kids, new pressures, things got a lot worse.  Still, no one (including us) ever thought autism.  After a particularly bad stretch, her therapist and psychiatrist both suggested BPD was possible and thankfully got her a great DBT program.  It was that team who after about 3 months said.. we're thinking she should be evaluated for autism (They are pros, they didn't say it exactly like that.)  Long story short, we went from -- um WHAT? to.. omg it's so obvious.  And in hindsight -- I can see it all the way back to the toddler years, and honestly, even infancy.

While hard, of course, it was a relief to her.  It explained so much.  Just one example, the intense "panic attacks" and extreme disassociation were actually prolonged, intense autistic burnout after years of masking.

Fast forward 2 years -- it has of course been so so hard, and she/we have done A LOT of work. There are so many successes.. unmasking, much better emotional regulation (so much better.). And I am so thankful she was diagnosed at 16 rather than 24 or 40 as often happens for some women.  But I wish there was more time.. as she prepares to head off to college, her dx informs a lot of that process.. and I'd give anything for another year or 2 for her to build her life and skills to set her up for success.

Will she lead her best life?  Definitely.  Will it be hard and will there be many, many bumps? Oh yes.  Will she need more "help" along the way, maybe even forever?  yes.  Will the next 4 years look different for us as a family than many of our friends and their college kids? yep.  That's part of the work we as parents have done and continue to do - being okay with that.  Racial acceptance is my best friend :)

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