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[quote=Anonymous]My dad, who controlled the family finances, used to frequently tell us we would inherit a lot of money. He was generous during his life. After he passed, my mom found out that he had left her more than she expected. She also has a substantial pension and long-term care insurance. She's healthy at 84, but if she ever needs 24/7 care she can afford it for life.

I'm happy that for the first time in her life she get to do whatever she wants with her money on her own, although she doesn't travel much or have expensive tastes. I think having her own pile of money is a novel concept and it makes her giddy. She deserves everything, and I want to make clear that I never asked her or my dad for money.

The problem is that she frequently drops hints about helping me and my kids, but then doesn't follow through, unlike my dad. For instance, my kid went to an expensive grad program. My mom asked what it cost and told me, "Don't worry--I'm able to help you pay for it." I expressed gratitude, but she didn't give me any money. Finally, in my kid's third year in the program, I asked if she was actually going to help and only then did she take out her checkbook.

She does this with my kids as well. She knows they work hard but struggle a bit in NYC to cover rent and all expenses. She tells them she can help. In fact, she's constantly telling everyone how she has a lot of money and needs to gift it because it's more than she can spend. But then it falls to me to actually pick up the phone and ask her to send my kids a bit of cash. I don't like asking and neither do they, as it makes us feel like vultures.

We all use the same financial planner, and he definitely has urged her to gift now. I just wish she would do it without dangling it and then making us ask for it repeatedly. Should we just stop and inherit what we inherit at some point? She's a very loving mother and grandmother and I don't think is intentionally playing games, but I'm uncomfortable with the dynamic.[/quote]

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