Reply to Getting clarity on wedding invite- what is reasonable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister is getting married next fall.  Travelling to the wedding will involve international travel for us (this is not a destination wedding, we live in different countries right now).  It's during the school year so would involve pulling the kids out of school.  My understanding is that it will be a smaller venue, and since we have a large extended family and they have a lot of friends, I reached out to confirm that kids will be invited.  I was expecting a yes/no answer but instead got a vague answer along the lines of  "probably but I need to gage how many adults will attend first," based on save the date responses.   FWIW, our other siblings has kids too, between us there are 4 nieces/nephews total, all between the ages of 4-10. They think that ultimately engaged sister will include the nieces/nephews, which I think is likely as well, but they are driving distance so don't need to plan anything right now, whereas we need to book flights.  I'd like to book flights while fares are reasonable but there is no point in pulling them from school and travelling as a family if ultimately my kids aren't invited, I would just go on my own.  However my mom would be furious if they WERE invited and I didn't bring them, I’m not sure she even knows it’s a possibility they won’t be.  I'm not sure if my sister is just clueless or playing some weird mind game, but is it reasonable to tell her I need to know X months out one way or another?  I really wonder how well she'll be able to gage the responses from save the dates to begin with…..[/quote] You need to have a conversation with her again. Let her know you are fine either way.  Do you think she doesn’t want kids and feels guilty? Or is she not a decisive person normally?  If she is still wishy washy, Gently let her know you need to make your reservations now and as it stands, you are going to make arrangements for your kids to stay home. Would you be upset if your other nieces and nephews ended up going to the wedding?[/quote]

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