Reply to “I raised you to do the right thing”

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[quote=Anonymous]Agree it's totally subjective.

Example of a situation where it didn't work and I think actually backfired:

My FIL used to say this to my DH when we'd visit, in order to try and twist his arm into (1) staying longer than we'd originally planned, or (2) spending more time with DH's brother, who is a deeply problematic person. It caused DH a lot of stress for his dad to try and coerce him in this way, and in neither case was what my FIL wanted the "right thing" for DH. What was he going to do, call his office and say "Oh I can't come back to work on Monday, my dad is mad and thinks we should extend our visit"? Regarding his brother, the reason DH didn't spend more time with him was because he is abusive and prone to flying into rages with any provocation. FIL was just trying to control DH, and was using paternal pressure to do it.

I could imagine a situation where a child is struggling with a decision and CHOOSES to consult their parent, whose moral authority they respect, and the parent says something like this to help guide them. But it would only work if the child was asking for their moral opinion and if the parent had shown the child that they walked the walk in terms of making moral and ethical choices (even when it might be hard).[/quote]

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