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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a new girl in DD 7’s class. The girl is well-behaved around the teachers, but according to my daughter on the playground it’s a very different story. She explained that this girl walked up to her on the first day and said that if she didn’t give her candy, she would tell the teacher that my daughter wasn’t being nice to the new kid. DD guessed she was joking, but she’s kept it up every day since, apparently asking her every day at recess where her candy is. DD is a rule follower to a fault and is absolutely petrified at the thought of being in trouble. I would alert the teacher of this but I don’t want to sound like a crazy, Karen, momzilla type of parent, because the teacher may take this out on my child. To be honest, the new girl’s actions don’t sound developmentally normal to me. What would you do?[/quote]

No, don’t tell the teacher.  Remind your daughter that nothing in the rules requires one child to give another candy.  The new kid is the one who isn’t being nice.  The next time the new kid threatens your daughter with telling the teacher, your daughter should call her bluff.  If the new kid is stupid enough to tell the teacher that your daughter isn’t being nice because she isn’t accommodating this playground bully’s extortion attempts, she deserves the consequences she gets.  More likely, she knows these are empty threats and will move on, once she realizes she’s lost power over your daughter.

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I think the teacher should be told, because it solves everything. One, OP's kid won't be worried anymore that she'll get in trouble. Two, the other kid will be supervised and talked to - which is important, because clearly she's not doing well. She's stressed too. It's beneficial to both children that the teacher intervenes in this situation. That's what the teacher is there for. The primary years in school are just as much, if not more, about socialization and navigating conflict, than they are about actual academics (you could teach reading and arithmetic at home way more efficiently).

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