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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you have a lot of questions and I'm going to try to break them down.

You may view your stepsister's behavior as seductive and romantic but it may not be meant to be.  It may be inappropriate but not sexual.  If she hugs grown men, to her it may be affectionate behavior.  Yes, she may need to be "cued" (not queued) to be less physical but not because she is seductive or sexual, but because she needs to learn about "Good Touch, Bad Touch" (and that is the name of a great program for developmentally disabled kids who needs to learn to do less affectionate touching.  She should be taught about this, but not made to feel ashamed or seductive, because she's not.

There is no reason for your husband to get so overwrought.  She's not "hitting on him."   And this "a lady does not do this with a man" ?   This is silly.  This is a person with Down Syndrome.  Get real.

As for the urine around the toilet, this girl is physically disabled as well as intellectually disabled.  I'm sorry, but that's the reality of gross motor dysfunction.  You are very judgmental of the mother's home but try raising a child with special needs.  And I'm going to tell you, your standards and your judgmental attitude and your plans to adopt -- they don't go together.  When you raise a child with special needs, it is piss and it is shit and it is no holds barred.  I think this is what your dad is getting at.  No one is asking you to be happy cleaning her mess.  But you don't expect that a person can do what they can't do.

I think you and your husband really have some strange attitudes.  No one is "privileged" to adopt a special needs child or thanks god every day or any of this bullshit.  Your husband's notion that it is cruel to put a disabled person in situations where people do not understand her?  How could anyone, anywhere, hope to enter into every situation with perfect understanding?  Not every situation is a matter of the right amount of discipline.  Sometimes you accept people the way they are.  You do your best and you MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR SITUATION.  No one is all good or all bad.  [/quote]

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