Reply to Is it abnormal to seek emotional support from adult child?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, both of my parents relied on me for emotional support throughout my childhood and into adulthood. I definitely think that was dysfunctional.

However, I think in a healthy family, everyone can give and receive support. For adults in a family, it doesn't have to just go one way (parent to child) forever -- once the child is an adult and if they feel comfortable, it would be natural to sometimes offer emotional support to a parent. For instance comforting a parent during an illness or while they are grieving.

However there should always be a balance. Adult kids should not be expected to just set aside their own emotional needs to focus on serving their parents' needs. Ideally both parent and child will have other sources of support (spouses, friends, other family, if necessary therapy) so no one is the other person's soul source of support.

I think especially when one parent dies, it's important for the surviving parent to understand that their adult children are also grieving the loss, and to not expect their child to set aside their grief in order to support the surviving parent entirely. Both should support each other and also reach outside the family for support to get through it.[/quote]

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