Reply to DH's angry parenting is ruining our family

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[quote=Anonymous]I was like this; you should discuss his upbringing and share your own philosophy of your parenting style; I suspect the two of you are not “on the same page.”  I did the mean thing to enforce “rules” in our home, because what had worked for me as a young person (it’s a bit of a cultural style), and I knew how to read and anticipate what triggered my dad, but that style did not work for my children.  My spouse (as the more permissive parent) deferred to me and was effectively absent as a in the consequences part of parenting; we were not on the same page as to our expectations and had not discussed our respective styles and the styles were confusing and contributing to our family dynamic.

With therapy, spouse became more engaged and I became more patient; we discussed working as a team, thus not leaving the full discipline/parenting burden on yours truly.

Discuss with DH his discipline style and yours; work with him so it is team parenting, back each other up. Children pick up very quickly on who is the more permissive parent, and will split the two of you; hence the teamwork…

When my spouse finally stepped up, it took some of the pressure from me to be the “harder” parent.

Your children are still relatively young, tell him he can accomplish more with less stress, by getting down to their level and talking calmly to them.

The repercussion - they will pull away from him, and when they get older, would likely engage in power struggle dynamics…[/quote]

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