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Reply to "College DD is Driving me Crazy"
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[quote=Anonymous]Encourage her to seek therapy for her anxiety. If you think it will help persuade her, require her to go to therapy in order for you to continue paying tuition or doing something else that's valuable to her. Other than that the best thing you can do for her is to refuse to participate in her anxiety. Do not allow yourself to get into a pattern of trying to reason with her or convince her that she's wrong or being silly, and don't allow your every conversation to be about her anxieties. ***These actions only make anxiety worse.*** The best thing you can do for her is say things like, "well, if it turns out you're infertile, I'm sure you'll figure it out." Then change the subject. Or say things like, "I think it would be good if you took a break from worrying about this. What are some things you can do?" And help her brainstorm ideas to distract herself--go to the gym, watch a favorite show, go get some ice cream with a friend. Then keep encouraging these activities. The anxious mind thinks that it has to keep worrying. The key to beating it is literally teaching yourself to stop thinking about your worries. The more you focus on the worries, the worse the anxiety gets. So don't let yourself get caught up in inadvertently making things worse. It's hard, because we want to listen and soothe and persuade them to think differently and convince them that they shouldn't worry. But you need to try to do the opposite. It's really OK--in fact necessary!--to say, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I know you're worried. Let's talk about something else." --mom of a young adult with anxiety[/quote]
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